Fourteen; Love Nest

I spent that first night at the police station cave.

Surprisingly I slept without any trouble at all. There was a chamber with lots of little beds, it was probably some sort of bunkhouse, I pushed them altogether and slept like a baby. That is to say, soundly, not that I woke up screaming for food or a nappy change every two hours.

The next morning Zain informed me they had found a suitable home for me and Bocco. A small cavern near the police station. We were whisked around there and left to sort the place out. Zain left two of his men guarding the cavern entrance, not because of Ziggy, but the looky-loos he expected would turn up to check out the alien.

I looked around our new abode, and, well, it was a cave. There's not a lot of great things I can say about a cave, it had a flat floor, perfectly flat which struck me as a little odd, but then I figured if I was actually going bonkers and had created this whole scenario, then of course I would make all the caves and caverns have flat floors. After all, there was no point making my slide into insanity any more difficult than it needed to be.

Just like the Flintstones our cave was bereft of a bathroom. I thought about asking Bocco where I was supposed to relieve myself, but it wasn't a problem just yet so I decided to wait until absolutely necessary, perhaps I'd wake up in the loony bin before it became an issue.

The morning paper turned up after we'd been there for about an hour. There was a big picture of me and Bocco framed by a love heart on the front page, I couldn't read the headline, and didn't ask, I could imagine what it said.

It was about an hour later that the first of the gifts started turning up. Bocco assured me that this was perfectly normal, the people of Zugar-Zipperat were a very welcoming sort who often liked to give welcome gifts to new neighbours.

I thought back to the welcome I had received the day before when I first appeared in Zugar-Zipperat, and tried to remember how long it was since I'd had a tetanus shot, and if those halberds had been clean.

Bocco also informed me that we would have to open every present to search for clues that would lead us to Ziggy. He said Ziggy was bound to send some practical joke gifts, and so we started to open the presents.

The very first box I opened proved him right, as soon as I lifted the lid I was squirted with water. Bocco carefully replaced the lid and put the box aside to be examined as evidence later. Then he handed me another box.

I opened the box, a cloud of flour exploded in my face, and because I was still wet from the last box, it stuck to me.

It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Fifteen