Thursday, January 20, 2005

Twenty; Descent Into Ridicule

As we walked through the darkness small candle flames appeared in cave entrances, illuminating worried looking leprechauns.

Unable to remain silent any longer I asked Bocco, “Where are we going?”

“Up,” was all he said and I got a sense he wouldn’t say anything else.

We walked and walked, turned through caves and along caverns and naturally formed corridors, Bocco led the way, never once hesitating to pick a direction.

Suddenly I heard a loud noise that could only be one thing, and felt a shiver run down my spine.

A whoopee cushion!

Bocco and I stopped. The sound was followed by a series of horrified gasps coming from every possible direction, and then a manic chorus of high-pitched giggles.

“What’s happening Bocco?” I asked, as more whoopee cushions went off in a horrific symphony.

“Regression!” he rumbled.

“Why?” I asked.

“Darkness,” he answered and resumed his ambling pace forwards.

“But I thought they were enlightened,” I said, and hurried to catch up with the bear, frightened that at any moment an army of custard pie wielding leprechauns might appear in the darkness to ambush us. “I thought Captain Zee Zee top saved them.”

“Zipper Zoos,” Bocco corrected me. “Enlightenment; hard in darkness.”

All around us there was a cacophony of insane giggles, farting noises, the splat of custard pies being thrown, and a thousand other ridiculous sounds. The further we went the more we heard.

Along one corridor I slipped on a banana skin and landed heavily to the sound of giggling and retreating footsteps running away into the darkness.

Further along the same corridor a female leprechaun ran up to us screeching for help, “They’re after me! Help!” she wailed.

She ran past Bocco to me.

It was getting a little bit lighter in the caves now, or maybe my night vision was kicking in, and I saw Bocco look at her once and keep walking.

“It’s okay,” I said, “Who’s after you?”

“Them!” She pointed frantically in the direction we were walking.

I looked but could only see Bocco ambling slowly up the slope of the corridor, as I turned back to face her, what little I could see disappeared. Something struck me in the face and the female leprechaun giggled and ran away.

I wiped the custard from my face and swore.

“You could have told me!” I complained to Bocco when I caught up to him.

Bocco didn’t say anything.

“You knew didn't you?” I knew he knew.

Bocco still didn’t say anything.


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