Friday, January 28, 2005

Twenty Eight; The Known Universe’s Finest Bourbon

I tried to find my way back to the cockpit but somehow I just ended up going around in circles.

I was beginning to get an idea of just how big this ship was, though why a six man crew would need such a big ship was a little baffling, but then again maybe they just liked to show off, and remembering the ship's name decided that was definitely it.

Thinking back to the old sci-fi shows I’d seen I decided to try a few things.

“Computer,” I said in my best Jean-Luc accent.

Nothing, no bip-bip, no bing-bong.

I tried it again, this time as Riker, “Computer!”

Data; “Computer.”

I considered doing Janeway, but that particular way of phrasing my thoughts made me think of Seven, and for a good few minutes I forgot completely where I was and what I was doing.

This wasn’t working.

I scratched my head. I checked the walls for info panels, but found nothing. The interior of the ship was nice enough, smooth white walls, sliding doors, but nothing of use to me.

I walked along the corridor, opening each door I passed, by simply standing in front of it as though I intended to go inside. I even tried to trick one door by sneaking up on it, but it knew I was there and opened contemptuously. I took a peek inside each of the rooms the doors led to, and found all sorts of things, mainly stores, food and drink, mechanical and computer equipment that completely baffled me just by looking at it. In one room I found a giant aquarium.

In one room I found a stack of plastic crates that were all labelled. I saw one pile that bore the legend, Jim Beam; The Known Universe’s Finest Bourbon*.

I tried to open the crate, but it was sealed tight and I had no idea how the damn thing was supposed to open. I briefly wondered how the Test Eagle’s crew of freedom fighters came to be in possession of crates and crates of bourbon, but then stopped worrying about it and lifted a crate over my head to break open on the floor.

The crate landed but remained unopened, however a loud siren blared in my ear so I left the room and hurried down the corridor away from the scene of the crime.

*exclusions apply.


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